Be That Person for Yourself
For the longest, I have always wanted a me in my life.
You know what I mean when I say that—if you’re an empathic person, the shoulder to lean on, the one who shows up, the supportive one in relationships. I have always seen being the understanding friend and family member as my superpower, and naturally, I found myself seeking that same energy from the people in my life.
Being comfortable with yourself is half the battle.
Sadly, I have been let down more times than I can count. People I cared about deeply have abandoned me with no explanation, and somehow, I always found it in my heart to forgive them—hoping they would change when they came back around. But that only left more room for disappointment.
Along the way, I’ve learned something important: not everyone is like me. And more importantly, I don’t have to internalize their inability to be consistent.
Abandonment has a way of making you feel like you’re not enough. Like you weren’t worth staying for. And if you’re not careful, you start to believe that. You start to question your own value.
But the truth is—you may simply have more to offer than the people in your life. And that doesn’t mean you should keep pouring into people who don’t pour into you.
So what are we left with?
An opening.
An opening for people who do carry the qualities we need. People who reciprocate. People who don’t leave. And with that, we learn to appreciate those people more deeply—and recognize sooner who is not aligned with us.
An Internal Assessment
Let’s be honest for a moment.
You show up for others, right?
You’re present. You’re available. You don’t abandon the people you love.
But are you that way with yourself?
Are you present with your own emotions?
Do you sit with your feelings the way you sit with your friends?
We have to practice the same love, patience, and consistency within ourselves that we expect from others. Otherwise, we end up searching for relationships to fill a space we haven’t learned to hold on our own.
When you become that for yourself, everything changes. Your expectations shift. Your boundaries strengthen. And you stop depending on things you can’t control—like other people’s actions.
Be that for yourself.
Practice
Being Present with Yourself
Create intentional quiet moments in your day—even if it’s just 10 minutes.
Sit with yourself.
Check in with your emotions.
Ask yourself what you need.
This could look like journaling, exercising, baking, knitting—anything that allows you to slow down and be conscious of your inner world.
And when those thoughts come up, don’t dismiss them.
Talk to yourself the way you would a friend:
Validate your feelings
Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel what you feel
Gently ask, “What do I need right now?”
Show up for yourself the same way you hold space for others.
Date Yourself
Take yourself out.
Go to a café. Go thrifting. Take a walk. Sit in the sun.
Do the things you wish someone would do with you—and enjoy your own company while doing them.
We place so much value on how others experience us, but how often do we think about how we experience ourselves?
Learn to enjoy you.
Because when you do, you’ll never question your worth based on someone else’s inability to see it.
Care for Yourself
Caring for yourself goes beyond surface-level self-care.
Yes, take the baths. Light the candles. Buy yourself something nice.
But also:
Set boundaries without guilt
Rest without needing to earn it
Say no when something doesn’t feel right
Protect your energy like it matters—because it does
Self-care is also choosing yourself in moments where it would be easier not to.
Final Thoughts
You don’t need to keep searching for someone to love you the way you already know how to love.
You don’t need another “you” in your life.
You just need to become that person for yourself first.
And when you do, the right people—the ones who match your energy—will find you.
Not because you chased them.
But because you finally stopped abandoning yourself.
Love Always
Eucalyptsis
